"Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Galatians 1:10
After much prayer, I decided to sign up for an ultra marathon just two days before the race. I felt God leading me there so, as I pressed the enter button to complete the no-refund transaction, I smiled. And then I read the race description more carefully. Shirts were not guaranteed for late signups. No problem, I thought, I'm not doing this for a shirt. My hands were clean and motives pure I thought. And then I read on....medals given only to the top male and female finishers. What? Now, that is not something I wanted to read. For a brief moment, I regretted signing up for this race and questioned why God would lead me to it. And, that's when I felt it... overwhelming conviction, shame and guilt. You couldn't have hit me any harder with a 50 pound sledgehammer.
Who are you running for anyway I heard Him say? Are you not willing to sacrifice yourself for nothing other than to be a witness for me? Oh, if I had been alone, I would have fallen to the floor crying and begging for forgiveness. Yes, Lord! I will do your will. I will do it because I love you and I will do it expecting nothing in return. After all, you have given me every blessing in this life that I have and the gift of running is not my own. Oh thank you Jesus for searching my heart and reminding me of what my purpose is... I am a servant of Christ. I need no medal, shirt, recognition or honor. I am a servant of Christ. I will go where I am called and I will faithfully fulfill the calling you have given me. Yes! I truly am a servant of Christ.
Oh, that we all might surrender our wants, wills and desires every day. It's only then that we can truly be servants of Christ. Ready to be used for any purpose and plan that God would have us do. How about you? Are you ready?
Heavenly Father, thank you for those moments of humility and conviction that bring us to our knees. You are truly worthy of our fully devoted service, not for what you can do for us but for what you have already done. Oh Lord, search our hearts and rid us of our pride and our own ambitions. Replace them with a heart completely devoted to serving you no matter the cost. It's in your precious name we pray, Jesus. Amen.
Lift my life up - Unspoken