Avoid Toxic Positivity

“For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.” 2 Corinthians 7:10 NLT

In a story titled “How Toxic Positivity Aggravated One of My Worst Experiences” published by Runner’s World yesterday, the writer Donna Raskin said “Recently, I sucked. As soon as I started to run the 2024 New Balance 5th Avenue Mile in New York City, I lost my breath. I didn’t even make it through two blocks before I had to slow down, then watch the backs of other runners fade away. I spent so much time walking that I was reduced to nothing but my own worst thoughts: How embarrassed I was. How out of shape. How I have no friends, my life has no meaning, and my running is never going to improve. Did I spiral? Well, yes, of course I did! It took me 13 minutes to walk a mile. A few days later, looking for some running advice, I told a coach with whom I’m friendly about how badly I felt. In response to my sadness, she said, “But you did great!’” Why was this response from the coach so bad? Mike Gross, PsyD, a clinical and sports psychologist at Princeton University, and founder and director of TriState SportPsych explained it this way “The term is toxic positivity. Some people are uncomfortable with negative emotions, and so they invalidate your sadness or disappointment. Their response is disingenuous, and it comes at the expense of your well-being because we have to process our feelings in order to grow.” Thankfully, as Donna explained, Gross, who works with athletes at all levels, validated her feelings and then suggested that rather than making a decision about her racing future, she should begin to look at what is getting in the way between practice and performance—thus getting to the root of the problem and fixing it rather than pretending that everything is “great” for the sake of saying something positive. 

And you can be sure that toxic positivity isn’t only harmful to our physical health but to our spiritual health as well for many reasons. With the most important reason being that toxic positivity downplays the seriousness of sin and the seriousness of the consequences sin brings. You see, when you and I talk to a person caught up in sin and we say things like, “Oh that’s not so bad. I’ve seen people do worse” or “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It’s not like you murdered someone,” we don’t allow that person to experience the guilt and shame which leads to “the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience.” The deep anguish of heart that “leads us away from sin and results in salvation.” Toxic positivity then leads to “worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance” and  “results in spiritual death.”

So, while it’s true that staying positive is crucial to our overall health, it’s also true that being overly positive at the expense of ignoring the truth will destroy our health. Our perspective, although hopeful, must always be informed by the truth of the Bible and grounded in reality.

Heavenly Father, thank You for shining a light on a subject that even good Christians get wrong. Help us to be very discerning in this area and to be able to spot truth from a lie and to call out behaviors that lead to death, no matter how positively the world spins the behavior. Help us to love others so much that we will speak the truths that lead to life. It’s in your precious name we pray Jesus. Amen. 

Happy Running!