While unpacking supplies, I remarked to my husband that this was going to be another hot extended weekend. And I was not wrong. It was typical July weather in Missouri… very hot and very humid.
As you can imagine then, after 48 hours and 48 miles of running around a steamy track and camping onsite with no access to showers, I was more than ready to get home and to get “clean.” “I feel so gross,” I said to my husband more than once. “And I know I probably stink,” to which he replied, “We all stink at this point honey.”
Which was the very reason that, upon finally stepping out of the shower late Sunday afternoon, I smiled and thanked the Lord over and over for the blessing of being clean. The knowledge of that God-given blessing then caused me to say, “Lord, thank You for making me more than just clean on the outside. Thank you for making me clean on the inside as well, by forgiving my sins and cleansing me from all unrighteousness."
But, you know, if I'm honest, I'd have to admit that I haven’t always felt this way. In fact, for most of my life, I carried around guilt and shame for the many things I had done wrong and for all the mistakes I had made—guilt and shame that made me feel so dirty that I felt I could never be made clean. Even though I believed in Jesus, I still couldn’t let it go. And let me tell you, the weight of that guilt was wearing me down.
“As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” - Psalm 103:12
“Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not hide my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah” Psalm 32:5 BSB
Thankfully though, I finally came to understand that the guilt I was carrying around was preventing me from truly believing that “as far as the east is from the west” so far were my transgressions removed from me. It was only then that I asked the Lord to remove the guilt of my sin.
And let me tell you, knowing that God forgave the guilt of my sin changed everything! I began to finally see myself in a different way—a way that Natalie Grant explains perfectly in the song "Clean.”
I see shattered
You see whole
I see broken
But You see beautiful
And You're helping me to believe
You're restoring me piece by piece
There's nothing too dirty
That You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean
There's nothing too dirty
That You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean
What was dead now lives again
My heart's beating, beating inside my chest
Oh I'm coming alive with joy and destiny
'Cause You're restoring me piece by piece
There's nothing too dirty
That You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean
There's nothing too dirty
That You can't make worthy
You wash me in mercy
I am clean
Washed in the blood of Your sacrifice
Your blood flowed red and made me white
My dirty rags are purified
I am clean
Washed in the blood of Your sacrifice
Your blood flowed red and made me white
My dirty rags are purified
I'm clean, I'm clean
Washed in the blood of Your sacrifice
Your blood flowed red and made me white
My dirty rags are purified
I'm clean
I am clean
I'm clean
Oh You made me
You wash me
Clean
Oh You made me clean
So, if you’re carrying around guilt today, let it go my friend. It has no place in the life of the believer who has turned from their sin and placed their trust in Jesus Christ. Let the reality of your confessed sin, instead, cause you to remember that God is faithful and just to forgive your sins as far as the east is from the west.
Heavenly Father, thank You for being the God who forgives and restores all those who come to You with repentant hearts. Lord, help us to truly understand that our sins are wiped clean so that we would not live with the guilt that will keep us from moving forward and declaring Your power to save and restore to others. It’s in Your precious name we pray Jesus. Amen.
Happy Running!
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