You might be a runner

You might be a runner if.....

"Where two or three gather together because they are mine, I am there among them."  Matthew 18:20

You've all heard Jeff Foxworthy and his parody of "You might be a redneck if..." and there's a hundred and one ways to end that phrase.  Here's a share of some of the best ones I've seen regarding runners.

You might be a runner if...

1. you have a drawer full of medals and other race souvenirs that you’re not sure what to do with.
2. you have stress fractures.
3. your coworkers refer to you as “the masochist”.
4. You know you’re a runner when watching the New York Marathon on T.V. made you get up and go for a run.
5. losing a toe nail isn’t so bad.
6. you can pronounce those funny Kenyan names.
7. you can hallucinate and get high at the same time without taking anything.
8. you know the amount of time needed to digest before you run.
9. You know you’re a runner when you know what a PR is.
10. you enjoy running in the rain.
11. your treadmill has more miles on it than your car.
12. you get an invitation to a wedding and you automatically think about what race the date will conflict with.
13. you’re not embarrassed to wear spandex.
14. you’re always hungry.
15. at least one of your web site usernames or email addresses has the word “run” or “runner” in it.
16. you know your resting heart rate, maximum heart rate, and exactly what your heart rate is at all parts of your run.
17. you pack more running clothes than bathing suits when going on a beach vacation.
18. You know you’re a runner when you have running clothes and an extra pair of running shoes in your car, “just in case.”
19. your holiday wish list can be fulfilled at any running or sporting goods store.
20. one of the first things people ask you when they haven’t seen you in a while is, “What race are you training for now?”
21. you have at least one drawer dedicated to just running clothes.
22. you wear your running shorts underneath your work clothes so that you can quickly get running after work.
23. you know where your illiotibial band is located.
24. you no longer hate port-a-johns. In fact, there have been times when you’ve been very happy to see one.
25. you’ve had your running shoes for three months and you know it’s already time to replace them.
26. you spend more time researching running routes than local restaurants when traveling to a new city.
27. You know you’re a runner when you can remember a time from a race 4 years ago, but you can’t remember your friend’s birthdays.
28. you know splits are something that not only cheerleaders care about.
29. your physical therapist’s receptionist knows you by the sound of your voice on the phone.
30. you know how to correctly spell and pronounce plantar fasciitis.
31. your Facebook or Twitter updates frequently involve running.
32. You know you’re a runner when your only recent photos of you alone are race photos.
33. you have a line in your budget for “race entry fees/race travel”.
34. you get excited when the new Runner’s World comes in the mail.
35. you spent more timing researching a running watch than you did your car.
36. you want to either cry or punch your doctor in the face when he tells you that you can’t run for two weeks.
37. You know you’re a runner when you’re excited for your next birthday because it means you’ll be in a new age group at races.
38. You know the location of every convenience store, public restroom, and water fountain in running distance from your home.
39. your friends know to never call you after 9 pm.
40. you get up earlier to run on the weekends than you do for school/work.
41. you know that cotton is not the best fabric for running.
42. You know you’re a runner when you think of distances in terms of mile repeats.
43. when someone asks you what you did today, you respond with a number.
44. you wear running T-shirts with funny slogans.
45. when you hear the word “bib”, you think about a race number, not a baby.
46. you spend more money on running clothes than work or casual clothes.
47. You know you’re a runner when the only time major household projects get done is during tapering or race recovery.
48. you frequently get asked, “When’s your next race?”
49. you have chafing in strange places.
50. people say, “You run 5 miles…at once?”
51. you use the words “10 miles” and “Easy” in the same sentence.
52. You know you’re a runner when you check your calendar for races before making plans.
53. you spend more in training clothes than work clothes.
54. you have running withdrawal if you don’t run everyday.
55. you wake up every morning in pain.
56. your runs are sometimes longer than your commute to work or school.
57. You know you’re a runner when your running partners know more about your bodily functions than your significant other.
58. you get jealous when you’re driving in your car and pass runners.
59. you have more fun shopping for running clothes than you do non-running clothes.
60. you don’t blink an eye at $100 for running shoes, but you have to think about $100 for any other shoes.
61. You know you’re a runner when you save bib numbers in a scrap book.
62. you know every runner in you’re community.
63. your first thought when you look at the weekly weather forecast is, “When can I fit in my runs?”
64. You know you’re a runner when you have more running clothes than regular clothes in your laundry pile.
65. you smirk when non-runners ask you, “So how long is this marathon?”
66. you consider work as recovery time between runs.
67. you own spandex in more than 1 color.
68. your watch is more expensive and complicated than your car.
69. You know you’re a runner when you secretly critique other runners’ form when you’re driving in your car.

I hope that all made you laugh as much as it did me.  It's true that runners can go a "little" overboard in their pursuit of their next run.  We put a lot of time into training and even more into thinking about training,  but how much time are we making for God?  

1 Corinthians 9:25 tells us that, "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever."  And 1 Timothy 4:8 says "For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come."  Running is great and it is a blessing but remember the One who gave you that gift.   And it is a gift, I assure you (there are so many people suffering with ailments unable to walk or even get out of bed that would trade places with you in a heartbeat).    Don't take God's blessing on your life for granted.  Invite Him to join you on your next run.  I'm certain He would love to hear your personal thank you. Oh... and I promise He can keep your pace!!

Heavenly Father, thank you for the gift of humor.  Thank you for the ability to run Lord.  May we forever praise you in gratitude for the air in our lungs.  Be with us today as we run, guiding our steps and allowing us to feel your presence.  In your name we pray Jesus, Amen.  

2nd Annual Prairie Spirit Trail Ultra Race Saturday, 29 March 2014 Ottawa, Kansas Melissa and her teammates will endeavor to complete the 100-mile Ultra Race along the Prairie Spirit Trail. Please support them. Sponsor Team 413 at gracerunner413.blogspot.com or call 573-433-6684 or 573-774-4992 Missouri Team 413 Ambassador Melissa Martinez Members of TEAM 413 – GRACERUNNER MINISTRIES, INC. are raising funds to provide free Ultrasounds to women experiencing un-planned or crisis pregnancies in Pulaski County. All money raised will go towards training volunteer technicians and ultrasound maintenance at the Free Women’s Center. The Free Women’s Center empowers as many individuals as possible to make healthy life choices consistent with the intrinsic value of human life. The Center offers free and confidential pregnancy testing, ultrasounds, prenatal education, and financial & material assistance. Learn more at www.supportmyfwc.com.

Here's this link also for donations. https://www.egsnetwork.com/gift/gift.php?giftid=173BB95D-9D6E-4547-B8B6-0E9CE19D56F8.